A small zoo in Alabama acquired a rare gorilla, who quickly became agitated. The zookeeper determined that the female ape was in heat, but there were no male apes available for mating.
Running out of options, the zookeeper approached a redneck janitor with a proposition. “Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500?” he asked the janitor.

After thinking about it for a minute, the janitor accepted the offer, but only on three conditions: “First, I don’t want to have to kiss her. And second, you can never tell anyone about this.”
The zookeeper agreed.

"But what about the third condition?" asked the zookeeper.

“Well,” said the janitor, “I’m gonna need another week to come up with the $500.”

Watch out. The United Janitors Union is known to file defamation suits for jokes like that.

Ah, yes, the UJU. They're almost as annoying as the ACLU.

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"Lord, give me chastity-but not yet."--Saint Augustine