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Old 10-12-2006, 02:01 PM
PokerT PokerT is offline
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Smile how many kinds of boobies are there?

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad,
how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds
of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round
and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice
but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
"Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man
goes through three phases - each like a different type of tree. In his
twenties, he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and
forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is
like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"


"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration!!!"
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Old 10-14-2006, 02:48 PM
Harvey Harvey is offline
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LOL! Good one.
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Old 10-18-2006, 12:29 AM
ukgamblingforums.co.uk ukgamblingforums.co.uk is offline
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better than mine..

what has 4 legs and flies?





a dead horse.
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Old 10-18-2006, 10:39 PM
Harvey Harvey is offline
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Hey, that one's pretty funny, as well.
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Old 10-19-2006, 10:54 AM
PokerT PokerT is offline
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Smile A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,

when behind him he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.


BUMP...


BUMP...


BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him


FASTER...

FASTER...


BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.


However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping


clappity-BUMP...


clappity-BUMP...


clappity-BUMP...


on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,

(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)


The coffin stops
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