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Harvey · #2 () 12-03-2006, 04:12 PM

I filled it out. Here's mine:

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Randy's Office party. It was Cliff who spiked the punch with too much Highball. I can't help it if I drank 66 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like sulphur.

I thought it was funny when I put Scott's shoes on my head and danced the mambo on the couch while singing `Achey Breaky Heart'. I didn't mean to break Randy's MP3 player and don't know why Randy would accuse me of prostitution.

I don't remember calling Larry's wife a silly cow---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and magenta lipstick!

And when I threw up on Allison's husband's elbow, it was only because I ate too much of that pasta.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my tractor through my neighbor's basement. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a paranoid squirrel and have me arrested for treason!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all repulsive and satisfying. And I'm really not to blame for any of this hateful stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
Harvey (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 43 bucks!